I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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