btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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