I have demons in me.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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