Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
