yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
