This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
