We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
The air was thick with penises
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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