It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Who died my cat blue again?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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