Walk of Shame. In a state park.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Randomize
