is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
