He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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