I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize
