The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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