is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
