she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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