At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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