Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
we made out on top of his cat.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
