from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
