Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
