I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
