i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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