I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Randomize
