I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Randomize
