soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
