took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
