dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
