your room smells of hookers.
And success
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
