I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
