What did we do last night that was yellow?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
