why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
