I hate all girls vehemently.
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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