im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
