She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
