And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
