I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Randomize
