last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
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