if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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