Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
