Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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