I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
