Why does Corona taste like a burp?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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