I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
