Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
