Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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