why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
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