Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
