What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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