When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
