Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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