What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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