I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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