she was so not down for the gang bang
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Are we still banned from the library?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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